Gossip and Slander

GOSSIP & SLANDER

Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

The verse above sums it up… In a nutshell, if it is not beneficial to the person you are speaking to or the person you are speaking about, then shut your mouth… So, what things can we say that are beneficial? Words of encouragement. Praises over the Lord's blessings in life. Teachings from the Lord for that particular day or week. If you are finding that you have a shortage of things to talk about, prayerfully read the Scriptures. I have yet to read any part of the Bible and not learn something. This will give you a multitude of topics for discussing and pondering.

So, what are gossip and slander?

Gossip – to converse idly; to convey facts, rumors, or behind-the-scenes information about other persons

Slander – utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage reputation; a false tale or report maliciously uttered orally, tending to injure the reputation of another

Isn't it interesting that talking about nothing is one of the definitions of gossip?? Isn't it interesting that just because something is a fact doesn't mean that talking about it isn't gossip??

First and Foremost – if you can live by this next verse, through the power of God's mercy and not your own self-control, then you have allowed the Lord to be the Tamer of your Tongue. You shall then have gossip and slander at your mercy instead of vice versa.

James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

PUBLIC VERSES PRIVATE INFORMATION

If the information that you have received is public and is useful for building others up, then it is good news to disseminate. We have a responsibility, both for what we say and what we allow ourselves to hear.

If we are speaking about our own problems or praises, telling another person some information, we need to make it clear to the other person we are telling if it can be repeated. You need to make sure that they know if it is a private matter or if it is information that should benefit everyone's ears. In the same manner, if someone is giving you personal information about themselves (or their situation), then you need to ask if it is all right to spread the good news – this is, of course, if you have already put it up to the Ephesians 4:29 test. (i.e. is it beneficial to say and hear?)

If we are talking to another person and they are bringing up information that is of a slanderous or gossipy nature, it is our responsibility to stop them or to get away. To participate in such an activity gives the impression that you are condoning the action taking place. When an action such as a bodily murder is perpetrated, most everyone will run away. However, when it is someone's reputation that is being murdered, most people seem to join in. Is there not a victim in both circumstances? How much worse is it for the living person to have to go around with a dead reputation? If there is a problem that the person is dealing with, and you hear about it, then pray for them. Pray that their reputation is not soiled and dragged through the mud. Pray that their weakness will be overcome with the strength of Our Lord. Pray that you might be given the opportunity to turn that person from their alleged sins with the same mercy that you have received from The Lord for all of the hideous acts that you have committed. Also, pray for forgiveness for opening your ears to things not beneficial to them.

Even celebrations and praise can be private information and therefore can be used as gossip or slander. If someone gets a raise, not everyone needs to know. If this information is passed to someone who was passed over for a raise, then jealousy and envy may arise. This can work in the opposite as well. If someone is passed over for a raise, those who hear that they were passed over may come to the judgement that that person is lazy, innefectual, etc. – which may be far from the Truth.

GETTING AWAY FROM GOSSIP

Titus 3

1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good,

2 to slander no one , to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.

4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,

5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,

6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,

7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.

Ephesians 4

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor , for we are all members of one body.

26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

28 He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander , along with every form of malice.

32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 5:4 "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."

The main idea thought is that there are a number of things you can talk about without talking about something that may or may not be true. God gave us an entire book of Truth that we could spend hours and hours and days and days talking about and we would never run out of things to say. Talk to people about the blessings in your life and the blessings in other people's lives. Be the bearer of good news instead of gossip.

If you do not know if what you hear is the truth – THEN DO NOT REPEAT IT! This is only the first test… The second is to ask yourself whether or not it needs to be repeated. Would you want the information passed along if it were about you? The answer is yes only if it will edify the listener, the individual spoken of, and/or the Lord. Remember the definition of gossip includes that facts may be conveyed. The interesting thing is, just because a person behaves in a certain way (a fact) does not mean that is the truth about that person. Perhaps you heard that a friend of yours lied to her parents in order to go to a party. The fact is that she lied. However, it may not be true that she is a liar who can never be trusted. The Truth is that she is a child of God who let temptation get the better of her. Do you want to cast the first stone?

The Truth about any person you want to gossip about is that they are a child of God who He loves. Anything else you know about them is of secondary importance.

Psalm 34:13 "keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."

1 Peter 3

8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

11 He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

1 Peter 21 "Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind."

James 1

26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 3

2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.

4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man,

8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.

10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.

15 Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.

16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Your mouth, like the rest of your body, was made to praise God. It was not made to speak rudely of others or to repeat lies and rumors about others. Isn't it interesting that all it takes to be perfect is to be able to control what you say (vs. 2)? That seems easy enough, right…? Whatever!

James 4:11 "Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it."

Psalm 41

5 My enemies say of me in malice, "When will he die and his name perish?"

6 Whenever one comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it abroad.

7 All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying,

8 "A vile disease has beset him; he will never get up from the place where he lies."

9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.

Leviticus 19:16 Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the LORD."

1 Timothy 5:13 "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to."

1 Peter 4:15 "If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler."

Psalm 15

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart

3 and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,

Proverbs 11:14 "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret."

Proverbs 16:28 "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends."

Proverbs 17:9 "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."

Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts."

Proverbs 20:19 "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much."

Proverbs 26:20 "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down."

Jude 1:10 "Yet these men speak abusively against whatever they do not understand; and what things they do understand by instinct, like unreasoning animals--these are the very things that destroy them."

1 Corinthians 6:10 "…nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

These verses show that the various authors of the Bible does not speak highly of those who gossip and slander others.

SO – IS GOSSIP THAT BAD?

It's not so bad, that is, if you don't think be aligned with Satan is so bad…Please don't follow in his footsteps:

Revelation 12:10 "Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers [Satan], who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down."

Matthew 12

36 "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Matthew 12:34 "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."

Matthew 12:35 "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him , and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him."

Romans 1

20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made , so that men are without excuse.

21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools

23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.

25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator--who is forever praised. Amen.

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.

27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.

29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,

30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;

31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

32 Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

Romans 2:1 "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."

BIBLICAL INSTANCES OF GOSSIP

Genesis 37:2 "This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them."

2 Samuel 3:23 "When Joab and all the soldiers with him arrived, he was told that Abner son of Ner had come to the king and that the king had sent him away and that he had gone in peace".

Acts 23:5 Paul replied, "Brothers, I did not realize that he was the high priest; for it is written: ` Do not speak evil about the ruler of your people.'"

(Funny – it seems that we have come to expect that we have the right to do this very thing in our country.

– cosmo :)

Nehemiah 6

1 When word came to Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab and the rest of our enemies that I had rebuilt the wall and not a gap was left in it--though up to that time I had not set the doors in the gates--

2 Sanballat and Geshem sent me this message: "Come, let us meet together in one of the villages on the plain of Ono." But they were scheming to harm me;

3 so I sent messengers to them with this reply: "I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?"

4 Four times they sent me the same message, and each time I gave them the same answer.

5 Then, the fifth time, Sanballat sent his aide to me with the same message, and in his hand was an unsealed letter

6 in which was written: "It is reported among the nations--and Geshem says it is true--that you and the Jews are plotting to revolt, and therefore you are building the wall. Moreover, according to these reports you are about to become their king

7 and have even appointed prophets to make this proclamation about you in Jerusalem: `There is a king in Judah!' Now this report will get back to the king; so come, let us confer together."

8 I sent him this reply: "Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head."

9 They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed." [But I prayed,] "Now strengthen my hands."

10 One day I went to the house of Shemaiah son of Delaiah, the son of Mehetabel, who was shut in at his home. He said, "Let us meet in the house of God, inside the temple, and let us close the temple doors, because men are coming to kill you--by night they are coming to kill you."

11 But I said, "Should a man like me run away? Or should one like me go into the temple to save his life? I will not go!"

12 I realized that God had not sent him, but that he had prophesied against me because Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him.

13 He had been hired to intimidate me so that I would commit a sin by doing this, and then they would give me a bad name to discredit me.

14 Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, O my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophetess Noadiah and the rest of the prophets who have been trying to intimidate me.

15 So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days.

16 When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.

17 Also, in those days the nobles of Judah were sending many letters to Tobiah, and replies from Tobiah kept coming to them.

18 For many in Judah were under oath to him, since he was son-in-law to Shecaniah son of Arah, and his son Jehohanan had married the daughter of Meshullam son of Berekiah.

19 Moreover, they kept reporting to me his good deeds and then telling him what I said. And Tobiah sent letters to intimidate me.

WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

Look at the verse above. Now place what you think may be gossip in the places it says love. Does what you want to say equate with love? Is it kind? Does it keep no record of wrongs? Does it delight in evil? Does it protect, trust, and hope? Will it fail to be heard with the right understanding on the receiving end? Remember – it is not always what is said that can be damaging – but what is heard… and then repeated…

If you think that it may be gossip when you want to say it – then don't say it. It never hurts to wait. Test what you want to say. Does it hold up in the test that is above? Does it need to be repeated? If there is a chance that it is gossip, just don't say it. Don't let yourself be pulled into the temptation of spreading lies about people. Besides, if it is the truth and if the person you want to talk about wants others to know it, he or she will tell them – they'll hear the news from the source.

1 Corinthians 4:13 "…when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world."

Why do we answer kindly? Why can't we just please ourselves and give them what is coming to them?

Romans 15:3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."

Matthew 5:11 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."

1 Peter 3:16 "keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."

1 Peter 3

13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."

15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,

16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

In all, we need to keep a tight reign on our tongue. Unlike the nursery rhyme, word can hurt you. They can even destroy you. If you must pass on some information, make sure that the info is prayed over and that you ask the person that you tell to pray with you – for the other individual, yourself, and the situation – that God's will be done and that He be glorified.

Matthew 18

15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Luke 17:3
So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins , rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

Matthew 18

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 5

23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

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