Humor

HUMOR

29 Children's books that didn't make it:
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1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do Book
6. The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The REAL reason mommy and daddy divorced

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY DEAD AT 71.

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, "The Pillsbury Doughboy," died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was seventy-one. Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours as long-time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Get the message???

One day, God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.

So, He called one of his best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good. Well, He thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another point of view. So, He called another angel and sent the angel to Earth for a time too.

When the angel returned the angel went to Him and told Him, yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good. He said this was not good.

So, He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good as He wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help keep them going.

* Do you know what the E-mail said?

* You didn't get one either, huh?


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